Fearless in the Face of the New Normal

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For months now, I have battled the fear and anxiety of what the news headlines call “our new normal.” I struggle to comprehend all the devastation, the suffering, and all the lost families across the world have had to endure during this difficult time.

Suffering is a very personal and lonely experience. These past months, I have been suffering alone and with each day, I wake up to a new uncertain future. I am unclear, if it is this feeling of uncertainty that causes this never- ending cycle of negative thinking that works me into a most certain panic.  This frenzy overwhelms me and I sit there or lie there motionless in a paralytic state. It is at this point, the worries flood my mind – Can I get a new job? Can I pay my rent or mortgage? Will I be able to eat tomorrow? Can I recover? How can I be there for my loved ones? The list of worries never ceases to be.

I invited panic and worry into my life and its shadow casts over me. I do what people do. I withdrew.  Then one day, after another sleepless night due to worrying, I prayed. It had been months since I prayed. My faith has not been the strongest during this time. I am unsure why it was shaken so much. However, it was not that I did not believe, but more that I just did not understand why suffering has to have a meaning. What is there to learn from all of this? How do I transform tragedy into triumph?

So, I prayed. This time it felt different. I laid there looking up at the white ceiling of my bedroom, and I chose to surrender. I surrendered my negative thinking and I asked God for help. I asked Him to restore my faith and trust. I also asked for the ability to realize when I go into this negative catatonic thought cycle, so that I can stop it. I thanked God for listening to me and I apologized for leaving Him out of my life while I was distracted with my own uncertainty.

I awoke the next morning feeling rested. As I laid there trying to get out of bed, my mind started to conjure worrying thoughts. For me, I have been constantly worrying about money and being able to pay my bills. My mind focused on my expensive health insurance premium and wondering where I would find the money for it. However, before the racing panic came, a text noise filled the room. Thank God, for the ability for me to be distracted by anything my phone has to offer. I instantly reach for my phone and look to see what came in. It was from a distant family friend, who I am not close with, reaching out to me to see if I was available to talk. I instantly sprang out of bed rushing to the bathroom to take care of the morning essentials. I called back, but no answer.  

My first thought was that I hope everything is ok. My next thought - why would that friend call me? My feelings had changed. I no longer had the time to deal with my one-man pity party. I had to be present for someone else. I felt needed and feelings of hope started to take over. Hours later, my friend called me back. I did not realize it right away, but God was answering my prayer. He had somehow sent me a person who was feeling the same way I was. I was relieved to find out that I was not alone in my suffering. However, others all over the world were possibly feeling the same panic and anxiety. After that first phone call, I made a conscience decision that I no longer wanted to live in the darkness of panic and worry. I now had a choice to make every day when I woke up. Do I let darkness in or seek out love and hope?

I asked God for hope, faith, and trust. He sent me a stranger who was lost too. Unknowingly that stranger became a good friend, who has saved me in more ways than I have ever helped him. Each of us on a daily basis will have to endure an uncertain future. The choice is ours to be present and to choose hope over worry.  We can no longer give power to negative and clouded thinking, instead, we have to give ourselves a break and trust that it will all work itself out. Things will be fine. It will be ok. Only then will we be able to move away from worry so that we can finally let in all the good stuff - love and hope.

The days ahead will be difficult and challenging. It is so easy to succumb to old habits of panic and worry. But, what if today is the day you choose love instead of despair? What if, you place your faith in knowing that it will be ok?  

I made the decision to surrender to God’s love. I placed my faith in Him so that I can trust that each day will be ok. I look for the light of hope He sends me every morning and I do my very best to stay cautious of the darkness that surrounds me. I pray for all of you, hoping you each find your own way and that you will seek out love and hope instead of panic and worry.

Loving Father,

I surrender. Your love gives me the hope I need to fight my worries away. Let my faith remain steadfast, knowing that everything will be ok. Thank you for the many blessings you send my way. Help me to love the way you do so that others may experience your saving grace.

Amen.  

Abandoned & Afraid No More

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I am going to come out and just say it. I am a couch potato and certain shows just grab my attention. Lately, I catch myself watching this one show on the Discovery Channel where a man and a woman have to survive 21 days in the wild with little or no resources. A few things scare me about my fondness of this show. One, I am fascinated with the premise of the show, but do not really understand why if you found yourself in the wild and had to survive I am not sure why you would be nude. Secondly, I might like to watch people choose to make themselves miserable.

 I really enjoy the show because it makes me reflect on my own. Face it. Life really sucks sometimes and situations in life can really make you feel miserable, confused, alone, and abandoned all without being naked and in the wilderness. Frankly, I just want to know how I can keep my head above water before I drown in all life’s stress and misery.

The one thing that has worked for me has always been prayer. Now, it is not for everyone, and I encourage you all to find out what works for you. I can only attest to my own experiences and my beliefs. Too many times, I have been so distracted in my own needs and wants that I placed God in the back burner only to find myself feeling miserable, alone, and afraid. However, when I remember to put God at the core of everything I do, there is nothing to fear.

Remembering to put God first is hard work. It is a constant daily challenge where some days I lose out to my selfishness. In Matthew 4:19, Jesus invites us into His way of life, which entails abandonment of a former way of life. That former life being where God was put on the back burner and God was placed second and our needs came first. We need to break out of our selfish shells and return to Him.  That is why, Jesus tells us to “Repent, for the kingdom is at hand.” (Matthew 4:17) Because God has always been with us. We are not alone.  It has always been our choice to accept Him. It is important to remember that placing God first doesn’t mean that you will automatically become a millionaire or get that new car. It means that in whatever we do we choose love first and our needs last. It means taking the time to placing God in everything we do.

Loving Father,

Help me battle my selfishness today. Help me to shed away my former life and look to you as the focus my life. Help be mindful of your presence and love so that I can be your humble servant.

Amen.

God has no Favorites

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As a child, I had a favorite toy that I brought everywhere. That toy was a teddy bear named Jeffrey. Jeffrey wasn’t my only teddy bear, but he was my favorite. I packed him up in my oversized backpack and brought him to school, to church, to restaurants, and most importantly, he was always there right next to me when I went to bed.

As I grew up, I spent less and less time with Jeffrey. I also moved him to his own little spot on my desk where he could read and watch me do my homework. As I entered high school, my father was cleaning up because we were having family coming over to stay with us for a few weeks. That day, I stood there and watched as Jeffrey was put into a cardboard box and shuffled up into the attic. If he was my favorite, why didn’t I keep him with me? Why didn’t I watch over him?

I think all of you notice it too. We live in a very great and awesome time, but with that greatness and abundance comes very scary times. The news networks report terrible things happening all around our world. Every channel or internet article focuses on new details about the Australian brush fires, news about protests and the brink of military war, and massive earthquakes crumbling our world like a puff pastry.

I watch all of this and ask. Is God still watching over us?

In Acts 10:34-35, Peter states, “In truth, I see that God shows no partiality. Rather, in every nation whoever fears him and acts uprightly is acceptable to him.”

God is always with us, but the true question we all need to face. Do we favor God every day? Do we place God at the forefront of our everyday living? From personal experience, this is a constant battle for me every single day. At different decisions I make during a course of a day, I know I somehow place God second to my impatience. For example, at the grocery store a new cashier opened up and said I was next. I noticed the person behind me had only a few things so I let her go before me. Of course, that she had to pick up the one item that needed a price check. Internally, I was fuming with impatience ready to burst into anger. It was so fast. I had placed God on the back burner. I had acted selfish and that selfishness got me all disturbed and worked up for really no reason.

This happens to us all. For some, many times a day at work or at home. The truth is when we place God, as our favorite things get easier. When we remember that He is with is in everything we do we can live with no fear. God is love and there is no fear in love. 

Loving Father,

Help us to put You first in our lives. Help us to favor love first and everything else second. Help us to keep the fear out of our lives so that we can only feel your warming love over us.

Amen.

Rediscover Faith

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I love celebrating New Year’s. Not because of the ball dropping or spending time with family and friends, but rather the time I make sure to take to reflect on the past year of my life. I find the process sometimes yet refreshing and most times quite humiliating. Taking time to rediscover yourself takes courage, especially when we like to think we are truly better than we really are.

I know I have slacked so much with the goals of themindfulcatholic.com. I wanted to create a community of hope and inspiration to any who wanted to take the time to be a part of it. But, I also was facing a world of doubt.  Yes, I was doubting my faith in people, in myself, and more importantly in God. As I reflect now, I actually believe it’s a healthy process to undergo. Faith is a great power. However, faith is constantly challenged because there is so much social proof that contradicts its being. The thing is with faith you don’t need proof to have it.

So, as this New Year starts I want to turn the tables. I want to challenge myself in working in creating a community where in some way or another you, the readers, can be encouraged. That yes, we will accept that life can often be stressful, difficult, and humiliating, but we will have the faith to persevere through it all and perhaps we can get through it together. Let us also celebrate the blessings and wins of our life. If you are a parent, perhaps it’s when you see your child run to you as soon as they see you come from work and give you a great big hug, or perhaps you got the promotion or salary increase. I don’t think it has to be big win to celebrate. Small wins work fine too. Learn to rejoice in being kind to yourself. Quite often, are self-criticism can be too harsh that we make ourselves paralyzed to action. Inaction is the best way to lose faith in anything.

Everyone has a story. A story that is untold and kept within. Let’s begin this year writing our stories with renewed vigor and faith. Numbers 6:26 states, “The Lord look upon your kindly and give you peace!” I believe “peace” in this case means that God gives us happiness, good health, prosperity, friendship, and good vibes. Let us pray with “peace” over ourselves, our families, and all the neighbors we will encounter this New Year, this new beginning.

Peaceful Father,

Fill our hearts today with renewed faith and vigor in your love. As we go throughout our day today, let us be grateful of the blessings you provide us thus far, and let us share with others your loving peace with all those we will encounter. Let your love shine through me that it will help inspire someone else.

Amen.

Where Are My Prayers Going?

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I am losing my mind. I pray and I pray, but I still don’t know what to do. I want to be hopeful, but the sadness I experience overwhelms me. I start to panic and my heart rate speeds up. I try to calm myself down, but my attempts are thwarted by more negative thinking. I fall to my knees. I beg God to relieve me from this suffering, and I ask for things to get better.

A few days past, I have managed to motivate myself to get out of bed and try to get on with my regular routine. I still feel the same. I feel like God has abandoned me. The people around me look like they are living such great lives. My friends and family all seem to be living the dream, but have no clue that I am struggling so much.

Why does it seem like everyone else has it so easy? Being me just feels so tough. I can’t get a break. If not for the tree falling on the house after the storm last week, things would seem better. Also, why did my SUV need brake repairs now? The expenses are mounting up, and I am already short this week. God, where are you?

For the past few months, this has been my trend of thought. One mishap after the other come and graces me with its presence. All I really want to do is throw in the towel. I have had enough of God not answering me. I need answers. I need a solution. I need help.

Then today happened. Something at my very core told me to go 12 noon mass today. Something I don’t do. I usually pray a lot and try to talk to God throughout the day. But, the last few months I noticed I was trying to solve things on my own. I wasn’t interacting with God as much as I did. In honestly, I had forgotten my own motto “God in Everything I do.” You can imagine why I find it so hard to write something when I am so uninspired to do so. While the troubles I am currently going through haven’t gone away, I am working on putting my trust in God again so that I don’t have to go through my sufferings on my own.

It has just been such a horrible time lately. I needed to take a step back and reflect. I don’t know much. But, I learned that sometimes God answers us in silence. I really wish He didn’t do that. I am just really glad that He didn’t leave me. In silence, I learned that I was running away from Him. I was too proud thinking I could solve everything on my own. The thing is I chose to suffer alone. Yes, I prayed to Him. But, I didn’t trust in Him. I didn’t trust that He would be there to help me during this tough time. Today’s Gospel reading, talks about us needing to humble ourselves like children before we can receive the rewards of heaven.

I had to humble myself today to let my faith grow. The future will bring about days of discouragement, stress, hopelessness, and sufferings. Will we remember to trust that God is there watching over us? Will we remember that in His silence He is always there fighting with us against our own demons and sufferings of today.  

What are you suffering from today? Will you humble yourself to let it be known? Please feel free to comment below and let me know how you are feeling. God gives us all that we can handle and He also provides us with hope to fight another day. You are never alone unless you chose it.

Have I Lost My Way?

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I am going to be frank about it. I am a big big coward. As soon as things get tough, all I really feel like doing is to curl up into a ball and just give up. The reason I started this website is to glorify God and I thought that would be simple enough. It is not that my belief in God has changed in any way, but my faith and trust in God has been tested and tried this past month to the fullest that I couldn’t provide hope to all of you when I was need of so much hope myself.

The thing is I know that everyone has problems. Everyone is going through something that tests them. But, this time I folded my cards and I succumbed to a world without God. It was a horrible month to say the least. I am just so ashamed that I let myself down. I let my mental and physical illness get the best of me. I allowed it to lose my focus on what is important to me – my faith in God.

I found myself praying and praying, but I could not feel or hear God in my life. Where did He go? Why was He not with me? Was I selfish to believe that God would also grant me success? I used to feel His presence in my life, but it felt as if He just abandoned me.  On top of all my negative thinking, I would also find myself sitting in front of the evening news watching one tragic story after the other. In the past month or so, we heard tragic stories of mass shootings, and catastrophic natural disasters like earthquakes and hurricanes wreak havoc on people’s lives. How could we believe that God would let this happen to innocent people let alone believe that He took a vacation from my life too? My thoughts and prayers go out to those families who had to go through so much devastation.

Then one day, I saw this t-shirt with the saying “I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.” And, I felt a jolt go through my body. I was in a rut and I needed to find way out of it. I had stopped praying my evening prayers, I had stopped taking my mindful minutes to reflect on all the good that was happening in my life. At this moment, I was going to rid myself of these negative thoughts about that I had to wait for God to answer me. I had forgotten that God granted me a mind with abilities and the power to act.

So I decided to act. I decided that I would live by this mantra – Grateful Effort Matters. Step one is to be grateful that God has given me this day to live and breathe. Step two is make sure to put maximum effort into everything I do no matter what the task. I need to stop taking for granted that I have the ability to do something now, when others don’t so I can’t waste it doing things half-assed. And, the third step, what I did today matters. All I that I do is for a purpose. The purpose to utilize each and every day to be a better human than the day before. It is with that purpose that I can use my talents to glorify God and hopefully be a contributing person in this world.  

Perhaps it’s not that God abandoned me, but rather helped me grow. The fact of the matter is it is our responsibility to invite God into our lives if we chose to do so.  I know for fact it easier said than done, but I it’s worth taking the leap. This will be a long journey one I hope to share with you and I hope you will share with me. There are so many more obstacles to overcome. I may have lost my way for a bit, but I know that trusting in God is definitely the path I will take.

Love, Where are you Hiding?

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Love, where are you hiding? That is a question I ponder a lot these days. It seems to me like these days we are more inundated with more negativity and hate than positivity. I am not saying kindness and acceptance isn’t happening every day. But, I am saying that we don’t hear enough of the stories of love and hope.

As children, we would imitate what we saw. In some cases, we imitated bad gestures and were reprimanded. Is it really any different now? If all we see is hate, injustice, and negativity, will we just imitate and accept it as the new normal. Social media and the news are so fast to report the bad and the negative that it seems all the good just becomes a blur. On occasion, we get an inspiring story about how strangers come together to help each other in time of need. We are so touched by the story it makes us stop and think for a second. It provides us with hope and faith in people. It allows to see that positivity does in fact exists. Moreover, it makes us think of the possibility of a world filled with more love than hate.

Luke 10:25-28 states, “There was a scholar of the law who stood up to test him and said, “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life? Jesus said to him. “What is written in the law? How do you read it? He said in reply, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” He replied to him, “You have answered correctly; do this and you will live.”   

Jesus illustrates the superiority of love above all things. Although, Jesus gives us just this simple task. We all realize and understand that the task at hand is quite difficult and challenging. To love your neighbor is really hard.  Just because you tell yourself you love them, doesn’t really mean you do. I can recall so many situations when I should have showed more compassion to someone in need, but instead I looked away and just went on with my day. Have you ever stopped and helped a stranger change his or her flat tire?  Did you just continue driving along rushing to your destination?  I bet some of you didn’t think anything of the situation or think of how that person could be in serious distress over a flat tire.  Still, some of us, drove away thinking “sucks for you” and continued forward without a pause. Too many times we are just so distracted surviving our day to day, we don’t have time to deal with being compassionate for others.

I like to think that we are more compassionate than it seems.  But, our environment and experiences have distracted us from our priorities. When we allow God into your lives, we can slowly retrain our minds to again focus on what is important and reprioritize God’s place in our life. By bringing God into everything you do, allows us to take baby steps into practicing love above all things.

Dear God,

Help me to be more compassionate, and understanding today and the days to come. Help me to keep my focus on my priority of loving you. I realize you may call upon me to help a fellow neighbor in need. Be with me and help me accept this important task.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Mission Probable; Not Mission Impossible

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I always loved playing chess with my father. I liked the strategy and the thought process behind the game. But, I have to admit it I was never really good at it. I recall my father always trapping me in a few moves and just in a short time I would hear the words “Checkmate.” Then, we would just set up the board again and repeat the process. I played each time hoping that I would make a better move that would finally outsmart my father so I could finally win. Until his death, I had never won a game of chess against my father, but I was almost a victor on several occasions.

In today’s Gospel (Luke 10:1-9), Jesus sends out his followers on a mission.  Like the rigid movements of chess pieces, Jesus gives his followers specific instructions on what to take and how to handle themselves as they go about their mission. He urges them to “carry no money bag, no sack, no sandals, and greet no one along the way” (Luke 10:4) Jesus does this to emphasize that his mission is too important and that these missionaries need a singlemindedness focus to complete the task ahead. Theses missionaries needed to free themselves from their attachment to material possessions and greetings to people should be avoided as not to distract them from the fulfillment of their task.

Our mission every day if we to choose to accept it is to give glory to God. As followers of Jesus, we must take the time to be mindful and place God in everything we do. Jesus reminds us to keep the focus on Him. By keeping God our focal point, our tasks are easily performed so that we can get back to focusing on him. I believe that when Jesus asks us to rid of our attachment of material possessions it is a call to get rid of the distractions that take us away from his Father. The distractions of where we don’t put God first in our life. There is nothing wrong with wanting and desiring material blessings. It is wrong when we forget God in the process of obtaining those material things and in an effort to achieve our desires we do something bad or wrong. God wants us to be in our lives and when we place God first in our lives some us will just notice that what we once desired isn’t as important has that feeling of God being present in our lives. Many times I catch myself desiring something and then I pray to God and God answers me with something else and for some reason that thing I wanted so badly just dissipates. The truth is we want more of God in our lives, but some of us aren’t ready to make the winning move to actually take that step. We may feel like we are close on some days, but until we fully accept that God is all we need, we will never be say “checkmate” on our own distractions or desires.

Dear God,

Give me strength and give me courage to make you a priority in my life. All that I have and want is for your glory. Help me to be a humble servant to your will.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Keep Moving Forward

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I recall being a child and constantly getting yelled at for running around everywhere. My father and mother had to be embarrassed because I would run up and down the aisles at movie theaters and at church. I was just being a kid enjoying the notion of never looking back. What happened to those days? As an adult, I notice we aren’t as adventurous or daring as we once were. Maybe its wisdom, or maybe we are just too lazy to be curious again – to look at things as if we were seeing them for the first time. As adults, we also find ourselves constantly being haunted by our pasts. Yes, we don’t want to make the mistakes of yesterday, but instead, we dwell in fear and we find ourselves paralyzed not being able to act. In some cases, it is simply just easier not to look ahead.

Life is filled with ongoing choices of sorting out priorities, which are important to us. For some us, we don’t seek to look what is ahead because we are too distracted with so many tasks in front of us. We wake up each day being a zombie going through the same schedule as the day before. Others, plan the day to the exact detail filling their itineraries to the max, and they too are distracted to see what still lies ahead – God.

Jesus calls us to follow him and to not look back. He wants us to make him a priority in our lives. He wants us to experience our life plans with Him in it. He wants to be apart or our decision making so that we can prepare for what is ahead in life- our eternal salvation. Jesus has the power to fill you with his grace so that we can be freed from our past so that we can live with him for God’s glory.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus says, “No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62) Jesus speaks about the severity and the unconditional nature of Christian discipleship. Jesus wants us to live in him at all times so as not to be distracted from our purpose of glorying God.

Every person has the choice to accept God into our lives. God calls us each differently and individually. We can choose to accept the love and grace He has provided for us or choose to continue to look backward and live in the past. God is what is forward in our lives. When we acknowledge that God is in everything we do our lives are filled with opportunity. When we place God as the most important priority in our life, things just get easier. Our daily activities become acts of glory. When we choose God first, we choose to the important work of proclaiming his kingdom. Will you accept this opportunity?

Dear God,

Help me to move forward in my life. Help me not to dwell in the past. Grant me strength and courage to make you a priority in my life. I understand that placing you first in my life allows me to offer up all my obligations and duties for your glory. Send forth your Spirit that I remain steadfast in proclaiming your everlasting kingdom.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.